Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Eeney Meeney Miny Mo

If you didn't have to be concerned about money or expertise, what would be your ideal job?

I've always wondered how many people actually know the answer to this question off the top of their heads. Is it one of those things that you read and then run with the first idea in your head? Or should you really, really look deep inside your soul to find the answer. Like I discussed in my personal post yesterday, I've been known to have a touch of a self-esteem complex. As a result, it's tore down a lot of the dreams and "ideal" scenarios that I've come up with over the years. It usually doesn't take too long for my brain to tell my heart that it's not really possible, it's too big of dream or too wild of an idea to ever come into fruitition. Pretty quickly, I have myself convinced that not only that I can't do it, but it's not really worth it anyways; before you know it, I'm back doing ordinary and average things. 

So, it goes without saying that I'm not really one of those people that can answer this question quickly. It usually starts off with a grand idea - like that I would love to open a boutique store and be surrounding by beautiful and inspirational things every single day. I would work with my hands to build handmade items, to sit on the shelves amongst other unique items from like-minded creators. It would be a happy place, where I'd build relationships with others, and together we would cultivate kindness, joy and happiness without our own little community. I'd be surrounded by others who live and breath the benefits of stillness (of the heart and the mind), and encourage balance between work and pleasure. 

Somewhere along that imaginary journey, though, I find a way to cut down the dream. I get discouraged about the path to get there, because I can't see it clearly enough to know where to go. My brain tells me that there's now way it would ever get to that point, for I am not great enough to achieve it. And well, if it's just going to be a tiny shop with me making crafts nobody will really want to buy, what's the point anyways? It's a dangerous trap that catches me on a number of occasions. 

But it's coming around. With a little work and a lot of soul searching, things are bound to start looking up. 

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This month, I'm taking part in the Monthly NaBloPoMo Challenge, hosted by BlogHer. See all my March posts on Risk here. To find more blogs that are participating, please click here

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